Have you ever wondered, "Why do I keep getting myself into the same predicaments?"
I do.
I do.
A few months ago I could literally only eat saltine crackers and water all day. I lost 30 pounds within weeks. I just felt sick to my stomach all of the time. The doctors (many, many specialists, tests, months and even a hospitalization later) decided I was STRESSED. I didn't feel stressed, my guts just felt broken. Finally with the help of the fifth possibly life-threatening event in a row, not for me but for loved ones, I realized maybe the doctors were right. I was stressed - but I didn't act like it. My psychologist told me that my body knew what my mind wouldn't allow. My body knew I was not only stressed, but stressed out. That made a lot of sense. There were some pretty dramatic things going on in my life and I wasn't reacting to them, just going from one to the other, while my body was shutting down on me trying to get me to pay attention to ... anything.
From that experience I first tried to admit that I was the "S" word. I couldn't even say it. How odd. After looking into the fact that I couldn't even say the word, I learned that the word stress to me meant that someone was going to get hurt if I was stressed. Experiences from my past were pasted all over my present! The truth was I WAS STRESSED whether I wanted to admit it or not.
From that point on I began to reduce the stress in my life. It has been working, as long as I participate in it. (smiles) Finally my weight stabilized and my guts began to heal.
I have once again been able to put on weight. I have regained 20 of those lost pounds. Now I can eat anything I want, and I do. Last night I proved it at a very scrumptious Bar-B-Que place! Which brings us to the picture up top. Today, that is me. Ugh!
Today ... My Guts are Broken!!!! And, I'm fat again. Now, I am stressed over that.
Seriously, will I ever learn?
Seriously, will I ever learn?
I regognize my self in your situation. Last week i felt so sick in my stomache only by the smell of food. That morning i had my first training in mindfullness. I was'nt feeling stressed anymore, altough i thought i wasn't.
ReplyDeleteMind and body can tell you different things. So i learnd myself not to listen to my mind anymore, who is telling me that food is not a good thing, instead, i went to the store and took supplys for lunch and diner. Now i eat 3 meals a day just as the doctor ordered. Now i'm not feeling sick anymore. I have also lost a lot of weight, but in my case that is not a problem. I have also thyroid problems wich makes that i'm not burning enough energie. It is a slowly working thyroid. And that is part of the problems that made me have a depression. Lucky for me now, that i'am recovering.
Whatever the problem, keep forcing yourself to eat, even when the portions are small. You see it will help
Good Advice. Thanks. (smiles)
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Lauri ~
ReplyDeleteI especially liked the statement:
"Experiences from my past were pasted all over my present!" Glad you can eat whatever you want again!!
Stephanie,
ReplyDeleteThank you. It is so true.
I heard you were sick yesterday. Call me when you can. (smiles)