277 Days to Go - Give Me an Ear!

Ok. So, what if I am not listening? What if I am only a talker? What if my defenses are so habitual, not to mention so impregnable, that very little gets past them. Perhaps I only let the birds fly over. I like birds. Is it possible that my defensive walls are soundproof? Could be. Maybe I have a highly trained set of ears. Performance ears. Ears that only hear what I have instructed them to hear. I think they are very good at that, so my diagnosis is Highly Trained Guard Ears. On my, I don't have a guard dog ~ I have Guard Ears! This makes sense now that I have looked at it more clearly. If I can't hear you, you can't hurt me. I think this a well developed plan that has taken decades to perfect.

"Grrrr!"

My Guard Ears are on duty 24/7 they are telling me. Nobody's gonna mess with their master! Jeez, I am well-protected and didn't even know it! I see now that this set up will definitely make two-way communicating difficult with someone who is interested in my welfare or our welfare as a couple. No wonder our conversations don't work. 

Let's see what I just learned through writing this post. I talk and  you listen. You talk and I don't listen. Something is wrong. Since knowledge is the first step to change, may I benefit from my own advice. I wonder if retraining Guard Ears is as time-consuming and difficult as retraining dogs...

"Grrr!" comes the growl from deep within.

Yikes! Maybe I even guard myself from me!

Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote "Eat, Pray, Love" would perhaps meditate upon this matter in her meditation cave in India, I think. No wonder she always came out of there grieved and sweating, her battles long and hard. She was fighting with herself!

Well, I am sick of fighting with me and everybody else! I still feel fight in me, but I would prefer to use that energy to LISTEN. I think that would serve me better. "Guard Ears, Go get in your bed. Stay."

Let's see if that works.